


Too Old Yet

by AiTsumi



Category: None - Fandom
Genre: Birthday, Birthday Presents, Depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-21
Updated: 2019-07-21
Packaged: 2020-07-09 19:15:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19892935
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AiTsumi/pseuds/AiTsumi
Summary: Getting older is always no fun, but then there's the day you realize its inevitable. The day your childhood is torn away and ripped into tiny confetti blown back in your face.





	Too Old Yet

Every birthday was less spectacular than the one before. On my first birthday, everyone worshipped me, I was a god. I never knew what bliss was till my third, it was a fantasy land of child laughter and joy wafting through the air suffocating all the pain. But what was the pain, what was this ache in my heart hid behind my missing tooth smile? Things progressively got worse, soon no one came, no one surprised me from behind benches or dining tables, no one talked my ear off about how mature or tall I got, and no one especially gave me love, gave me so much as a smile. People started to disappear from my view, not only my birthday, that's when I knew what getting old was. Getting old was facing life alone, headstrong with only the little bit of hope left in your heart. 

I don't remember when no one showed, I just remember the tears that streamed down my face, and my mother scolding me. Ever hear those commercials about those arcades where kids can live their little fantasy? Oh, you do, well I must not have been in the commercial, I guess a crying child doesn't exactly scream fun. Yeah, that was me, once again surrounded by child laughter and wafting joy, but it couldn't snuff my pain out. It only caused the pain in my heart to mold into hate, resentment, something my small vocabulary couldn't conjure.

Today is no different, only a week to my birthday. Already the sting of tears well in my eyes and my heart groans a great deal. My mother beams at me, minutes ago I lost her words in my thoughts. 

_What do you want for your birthday, Honey?_

Could I answer her honestly? Could I tell her I wanted the past where people would care, where friends of all kind would come just to see me? Could I tell her I wanted a time where I would get presents galore and I'd be treated like royalty for as long as they stayed? 

_Could I ask?_

I shook out of my thoughts and smiled at my mom with pearly whites. I told her I had to think about it, there were so many possibilities it would be almost impossible to choose on the spot. She seemed almost overjoyed, taken aback by my sudden interest in such trivial festivities. My guess is I've shown a bit too much disinterest time and time again in birthdays, even other's. I felt guilt pierce my heart thinking of all those I neglected, but the hate was too great to be shaken. Thoughts of my own despair took over and guilt was no more. 

_I am all that matters, I have been hurt like no one will understand!_


End file.
